Yesterday I went to mystical place named Cuidad Verdaderoin Quezon. I thought I would find it easy, in terms of my cleanse, being outside and distracted by our activities. But no. How was I to know that Lukban was known for good food and famous for it pancit? And that our activities and surroundings would make me extremely hungry?
I had my bottle of concentrate with me, and my own water, and I proudly explained to those who asked about my master cleanse. But it wasn't easy seeing all the food those around me were consuming,especially when I wanted a taste too! Starting in the van food was being passed around, and I was getting tempted. But I easily resisted. Then we passed by a fruit stand with rambutan, marang, mangosteen, and which incidentally sold an extremely delicious and crunchy chicharon (according to the others). Well I couldno longer resist! I just had a taste. I did not eat, per se, but just let a bit melt on my tongue. It was good indeed!
Then we had lunch at this place with authentic local dishes and there was lechon manok which looked good to me for being so native and not commercial - it wasn't an artificially plump chicken but a small flat yellowish looking thing that looked like it was just walking few hour ago. It smelled really good too and was served with vinegar. Well I just had to taste a little bit too, making sure to chew that little bit extremely well, so that it would become just so much liquid paste. So the day went, with the cleanse becoming harder and harder to keep as the rigors of the trip spiked my stress and hunger. On the other hand, I happened to glance at the mirror in the bathroom and really liked what I saw! I was slim, and in a tight way! Of course during the trip we took lots of pictures. And when I looked at them I really liked the way I looked. I would love to retain this body that I have now!
There was a lot to see in Lukban - old churches, small eateries,quaint coffee places served under the trees…and Ciudad Verdadero truly was mystical.
It was drizzling when we proceeded down to the grotto by the lake,and to me that just added to the atmosphere of magic. I was glad our facilitator Pheonyx insisted on us going down there together despite the rains.I could sense the magic around me and my joy was increased by having my son with me on the trip. While the others were in the Chapel, my son and I went up to the big stone paved labyrinth and traversed the path together. Issues rose up in me and I released them as we wound in and out again and exited the labyrinth.
In the sharing, led by the wonderful Pheonyx, there were many tears (from the others. Joshua kept laughing and inviting me to sing and I kept trying to quiet him.) Finally hugs went all around. It was a good day, but notso good for the cleanse! I might not have set a very good example to my wonderful companions. Sorry guys you're not supposed to taste food while on the master cleanse!
When I got home, it was late, I was very tired, and quite hungry despite the lemonade. Maybe my "tastings" had activated my stomach acid and my stomach was wanting more. When I asked Creator that best thing for me He said, "eat."
Not that I'm using God to justify quitting, but as I did a scan of my body, I heard my intestines telling me to eat. When I asked if they would last for three more days, they flatly said "no."
I ask myself why am I doing this then? Actually I want to continue just to finish it. But for what? To cleanse, to detoxify, to achieve a physical transformation. But if I am no longer detoxifying, does it then become a meaningless exercise?
On that thought, and with my stomach feeling quite empty, I fell asleep.
Total lemons 5
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