Master Cleanse Day 5

I have remembered that I wanted not just a physical transformation but also a spiritual renewal. So I remind myself that I am spending some time every morning in spiritual review, consciously connecting to the Creator, and also going over the material of our intuitive anatomy class.

Reminder to self: bless every batch I make.

Evening:

I am really tired of not eating. It's too bad I'm often home these days and there are lots of yummy foods. Sigh. Maybe I should just go out and have tea.

I do remember that I have an intent. So maybe I should start treating this more like a retreat, and doing lots of meditations and prayers.

Though I am tempted to quit, I will continue, at least until tomorrow, as Pope Francis has urged for a day of fasting for Syria tomorrow. So I shall continue my juice fast and add my prayers for Syria.

I have also heard from a friend stationed in a country much poorer than the Philippines, in a mission. Wow! I can just imagine the tedium and difficulty of being there. I only need to last for ten days while he has to last for two years! This gives me perspective, and strangely enough, strength to go on to the finish, because I have seen how much more others are going through. Makes my order seem smaller and easier by comparison!

I had not thought that not eating would be such an ordeal. But it is! I thought I had a rather Spartan attitude when it comes to eating…but now I see my Spartan attitude is when it comes to preparing meals for myself. If the food is prepared by somebody else, I love to indulge!

I am feeling quite restless and discontent. I'm going out! I'll just have herbal tea outside. Thank God I have a friend who's willing to go out late at night too!

After midnight:

I have to take stock of what's happening to me.

Am I happy? No.

I feel frustrated, and I'm beginning to think that what I've undergone is largely useless for me, as I've already done some Noni and the liver cleanse. I think Noni rid me of some parasites already.

So since I don't seem to be detoxing, is this a useless exercise?

Knowing the power of emotions, I don't want to stay in a negative state. 

So how can I stay positive?

Do I want to finish this?

Yes I do. Just because I started it. And because I've already gone public about it. And I want to finish for the sheer determination of fulfilling my word to myself.

But I have to change my game plan. No use staying on the cleanse and being negative.

Maybe I should stay on the roof deck as much as possible (where it's far from the dining table). And do the things I've long wanted. I do want to review our IA material.  And do my Zumba at dinnertime to avoid my main temptation.

This will take some of my time with Joshua. If I exercise in the evening I shan't be able to hug him to sleep.

Still, it's better that I'm in a good state and not in a negative state, even if I were with him.

So:  give time for meditation and study in the morning, and do my exercise at dinnertime.

Total lemons: 4