The Annunciation

I had no special devotion to Mary. I was skeptical about her so called perpetual virginity, and I disapproved of the Filipino's devotion to Mother Mary such that statues of Mary would sometimes be placed in the middle of the altar, displacing the Cross to some side niche in the Church.

So the first time I did this contemplation, in a silent retreat 20 years ago, and I had no idea what to expect.

I silenced myself, read the Gospel of Luke, closed my eyes and put myself in the scene.

A vast emptiness. A clean space. Nothing in it that the eyes can see except the wooden floor,  bare windows, and a girl kneeling in prayer. But this emptiness was clean. I did not see a beam of light per se but it was full of light.

The only way to describe this is to say its opposite. There was no clutter. There was nothing to hinder. If all my negative emotions and baggage could be gone, all my pettiness and gloominess and worries and spite, my attachments and fears, then I would be like that room – nothing "but breath of the Spirit, blowing in me."

It felt absolutely lovely. The cleanness, the emptiness of that room comprised my whole meditation hour.

In a strange way, I feel like I have been working to achieve that emptiness – what I experienced in that room – ever since.

Last night, I went back to the Annunciation reading. Again I read the passage, put it down, and closed my eyes. I waited for whatever would come.

I felt I was descending from above. I saw the top of Mary's head; she was kneeling in prayer. She was a small speck, then grew larger and larger. I realized I was descending with the Angel, this huge invisible being of light.

The scene unfolded, with Mary receiving the Angel's greeting. But I was with the Angel, and I saw the Angel reach out its hand inside Mary's heart, and give a smart twitch, as if to switch something on. Immediately light flooded Mary's heart and mind. She saw her mission and became absolutely sure of her way.

I saw that she was trained to recognize Inner Guidance.  

Abraham-Hicks talks about this Emotional Guidance System and how this leads us to our bliss, and is also our barometer to know if we are in an Allowing, positive state, or if we are deviating from what the bigger, higher part of us is feeling.

Mary was already an adept at this lesson of Abraham. She could recognize where her Soul's path lay, where her true bliss was. And she knew to follow it. To her, the world, societal conventions, opinions of people were a lesser reality to this inner joy, this inner imperative which she recognized as her soul mission.

I saw Mary's alignment  - a light in the middle of her being connected to up to Heaven and down to Earth, grow bright, wide and strong.

The Angel said, "ok, nothing left to do here," and we left.

Now I understood why the passage said, "and the angel departed from her." It was because once Mary became clear with her mission and her alignment was strong, she already had her Inner Guidance. This would be her light and the arrow that would point her to the right path – she no longer needed anything external.

I asked the Angel, "can't you turn me on as well, so that I would be as clear as Mary?"

"What do you think is happening with the books you are reading? These are already switching on your Internal or Emotional Guidance System!" the Angel sounded amused.

"It's not so easy you know! To be sure which path to follow! How come Mary knew immediately?"

"Don't you know that she has been preparing her whole life for this, meaning she has been spending her days in regular meditation and prayer, and already knows the Inner Mysteries. She is trained in the Spiritual Life."

I decided to end the contemplation with a colloquy with Mary.  I was humbled to realize that all these things I was trying to learn – listening to my Emotional Guidance System as articulated by Abraham Hicks, having a regular mediation practice – Mary was already an adept at.

I felt my spiritual development was vastly inferior compared to hers.

Mary invited me to look at myself through her eyes. And so I went into her space, and merged with her in our colloquy.

Through her eyes I saw myself, a pink bud opening, so beautiful and full of promise. And she told me that was the reality she saw in me.

I saw this rose bloom inside of me, and my joy rose as well. I was comforted, and I was content.

My vibration rose, and that's how my contemplation ended.

What did I learn from this meditation?

  

To listen to my Inner Guidance. Sensitivity to my Emotiaonl Guidance System would unerringly put me on the right path. Moreover, if I am aware of this, I would know to keep aligned, and to make my feelings move to a higher vibration. 

To faithfully practice my mediation, like Mary.

Now I want to be like Mary, adept at the spiritual life, clear and aligned, sure of what is important to her, never minding what the world says.